Journey of a Broken Heart 
in search of a Grail.

Why is it we are so obsessed with this thing called love? Just how did it get to be the most popular focus of attention? We learn many things as we grow up as children. Probably the hardest thing we learn about is the withdrawal of love, as we grow older. When we are born the glow of affection and sheer humility to the force of life is strong and bright in our parents and those close to us. We rest blissfully in this warmth as our bodies come to life. But it does not last. When we watch children being born, we are literally awestruck by the very notion the life we watched grow invisibly in the womb would really come out and scream the song of life. To have watched its progress to that point is phenomenal, when it comes to life it can feel like a truly divine moment. One of the rare moments we have the opportunity to live in full physical realization of the mysteries of the universe. Another moment is during the orgasm of making love to another human being. And yet another is when we feel the realization of true love for another human being. 

In these moments we seem to be lifted out of ourselves and into something so joyous and brilliant we have only one true word to describe it. Love. But, unfortunately this feeling becomes ever more fleeting, as we grow older. Like it is our nature to have our heart wither away like our flesh. And we miss it sorely. Why is this? Why can't we linger ever longer in that feeling, spreading it around us until every where we go we can feel it. Imagine living in a world where every single human being you met was sincerely happy to see you. The very thought brings tears of overwhelming joy to my eyes, and a swell in my heart, just at the thought that I could feel that way. And yet, I feel locked in my flesh, constricted by its limitations, the terms of the agreement of tenancy. Looking out of a room I inhabit by myself. Shyly looking out the window of my eyes at the world, afraid to make contact. Because, our contact has become too harsh. The streets of our cities full of people yet a lonely and cold place. We are not happy. It is time to realize that if any of us are unhappy it will lead to all of us becoming unhappy. The more we become unhappy, the further we move away from the light into darkness. 

This temptation we feel is like a drug calling us to give in to it. It is like the gravity holding us to this world, closing in on us. The downward spiral of fear. Fear can be a horrific teacher. The only way to defeat fear is to face it. Left unattended, fear can grow to have a paralyzing effect upon us. When we have the tendency to push fear aside, out of our site, we give fear the room it needs to grow. We must realize any concept that creates conflict between any of us is evil. It is the nature of evil to drive separation between us and drag us away into illusion. It is the nature of love to draw us into a more harmonious union. 

Growing up in life we realize that events occur in our lives that cause the heart to close down. As we get older we realize that unless we are careful to keep our hearts open, this closing down affect can be cumulative. We see and understand more about the life we see around us, than we typically let on to others around us, yet alone sometimes ourselves. We see pain, and it makes us afraid. We turn and try not to remember it. But we always do. Whenever we see abuse in any form, we notice because we have a psychic connection with everyone else, called intuition. It tells us the person we see is feeling pain, or happiness, or even contempt. We know when someone is upset, and some of us feel this intimately. We are sensitive to the dimension of emotion. Like an ocean, we swim in it every day and lose ourselves. Not certain why we feel the way we do. This is the beginning emergence of clairvoyance in humanity. We are learning to see love in a whole different light.

How important is love to us? We kill for it, we would die for it, we would go to the ends of the earth for it, we would get down on our knees for it, pray to an invisible god to let it fall down on us. It even drives an image-based economy. Because we believe image is the representation of purity, and that beauty denotes goodness. Yet, we know that’s a lie. Initially we feel shame when we are afraid to love someone, who obviously loves us, because we equate love with image and we are not inspired by his or her looks. We truly look way different on the inside than we do on the outside, and we know this. We can tell when we are evil, and when we are good. The problem is, for the sake of illusion, we carry on as if we don't notice. Just like we try to carry on like we don't notice the increased frequency of pain around us. That’s called denial.

The heart is truly the last vital organ within humanity still yet to complete its evolution. It strives to get us to look within and reorient our perspective of the universe. To get us to look beyond image. When we embrace in love we naturally look beyond the flesh to that which is within. So we are already inclined to this path. It is the nature of evil to incite fear among us. In the face of rejection we shut down, feeling emotionally overexposed. This is where we come face to face with the purpose of courage. Courage is the power to overcome fear. Forbearance is the power of our heart to forgive. If we realize that any form of difference we encounter, no matter where we encounter it, is evil.  If we can accept the fact that it is the evil within us, but it is not us. We can choose to disassociate this evil from the one we love, and love them despite the evil within them that would drive us away. That evil is simply fear. In forbearance, love manifests as the capacity to forgive all affronts, because in doing so the heart grows stronger and less fearful. Love is the power to heal the heart. The crux of this lesson is the pain.

Pain is the door we fear most to open. Pain is simply the death of fear. Pain shows us exactly what we fear. Thus to face fear, we must face pain. Ever wonder what pain the Christ faced on the cross, just look at your own fear and you will understand. Realize the pain he walked through bore his spirit to such a height of love that the memory of this moment has echoed through time within us, till this day and well beyond. Your fear is no different to you as his was to him. What is the power we have to overcome? That power is choice. Every time we walk through the pain in resistance, we darken the path of our future. Every time we walk through the pain in acceptance we grow.

It is not to say we should endure violent situations, as many of us are prone to do. Having a fear of jumping off a cliff is a healthy fear. Fear is also the body's reaction to danger. There are real fears we should pay attention too. But if we learn to simply overcome the fear of love, all other fears will eventually fade away. The chemistry of human interaction is wrapped up in the laws of karma. God cannot intervene. We must face the reaction of our actions. The notion of good karma versus bad karma. The challenge of the heart goes hand in hand with how you deal with your karma. You will have ample opportunities to confront hostility. To challenge hostility is to become hostile. If you do not seek hostility, usually it will not seek you, unless you had it coming. Embrace humility, and seek not to confront hostility when it comes and let it move past you. It usually seeks its own. As does love. You can only navigate your karma with humility. You cannot outsmart karma, without creating more karma. Remember, hostility arises from fear, fear from pain, pain from a lack of love. Some of us are pretty tortured individuals. We seek to promote that torment onto others, thinking this will help us feel better. The only thing that will make us feel better is love.

To resist love is to resist our very nature. Growing up, depending on the path and the souls we have chosen to walk it with, we experience the withdrawal of love. This is quietly traumatic to us. It is the path of separation. The focus of love and adoration begins to fade somewhere around the two's. The path to adolescence sees us rising to independence, but the price for this independence is the withdrawal of love. Our mothers are usually the last ones to let us go. But we eventually let them go. We reach a point where we seek to embody our love in other. We embark on a crusade to create a totally new love somewhere off in the mysterious world. We enter into a game of spiritual hide and seek. Realizing eventually that the world is not always a nice place. Our innocence is sacrificed on the altar of experience. Our offer of spiritual union is rejected. We learn our pursuit of other comes with risks. We have had our first confrontation with evil. 

Quite simply, this is the nature of evil. In another dimension, where we are free of the illusion of the material world. The nature of the harmony some of us exist in is called love. We have an instinctive inspiration to seek the union. Evil drives separation between us and the union. When you look at the world at large. Humanity exists in varying states of love, varying degrees of separation. As the child grows to adolescence, humanity has grown to adolescence. On a global sense we must strive to find other in love. We must brave the fear of the unknown, and embrace in global unity. The more we give in to violence and fear, the more damage is done to the union. Evil never stops trying to trick us away from the union. It pulls and tugs us further away from each other. Until we no longer remember the union. In that state of heart, we are vulnerable to evil. It promotes our fear of pain, driving us ever deeper away from the pain of love. Driving us to commit horrors.

The frequency of pain increases as the field of experience expands. The first pain usually seems like the worst. But simply because in order to protect ourselves, we begin to develop our armor. We are reluctant to commit as deeply as we did the time before. But we do not give up. We regroup, realign our objective and try again. Ever trying to fine-tune a formula for success. While we become ever more protective, ever more hostile in our reaction to betrayal and rejection. In despair we eventually withdraw, our senses reeling. Not wanting to give in to a growing fear within, that we will never again be submerged in the unity we came from. The notion of being isolated in the material world makes us feel naked and vulnerable. Alone. 

Evil thrives in our aloneness, casting fear and doubt wherever we look. Driving us into an ever-deepening sense of spiritual loneliness. For any one of us to be alone in a room full of people, is the work of evil. Until we as a culture and a civilization accept this simple truth, evil will have its way with us. It is already the driving force behind the hostility we see in the world. Ignored, it is wreaking havoc with our souls. It is breaking our hearts. What type of world will we live in if we let evil break all of our hearts completely? I hope to not be there.

The love within our hearts is the Holy Grail we seek to give us a draught of eternal life. The eternal life of love. We must seek it by facing our pain. We must strive to love in humility, because only in that way can love be true. We must endeavor to spend time getting used to each other's shortcomings, and our karma, until we can all move through this together. This is forbearance. We must remember that a broken heart anywhere on the world, is a broken heart within the world, and we must all face the karma of that soul. This isn't someone else's problem; it is ours individually, and as a collective. This is a dilemma we face within ourselves. The light in our eyes must not fade with the sacrifice of innocence. We all see this. It is the reality of us, we need to start living in it, healing it, and loving it.

Dale G.Cox